


You're not in love with him...

by Rose_SK



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Caring Harvey, Donna is Donna, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Harvey Specter is Not an Asshole, Hurt Mike Ross, Love Confessions, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, One Shot, POV Harvey Specter, Puppy Analogy Mike Ross
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 06:43:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20578181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_SK/pseuds/Rose_SK
Summary: Harvey Specter did not respond to threats, nor did he respond to emotional blackmail.Mike should have known better than to give him an ultimatum. Why was it so important that Harvey told Mike he loved him, anyway?





	You're not in love with him...

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo, I did a thing. I started watching suits (I'm on season 3 already, wow I need a life), and fell in love with this pairing. I hope you guys enjoy it.
> 
> The work was based off a poem I found online. Link and credits at the end of the fic. I don't own any of the characters in this.

Harvey Specter did not respond to threats, nor did he respond to emotional blackmail.

Mike should have known better than to give him an ultimatum. Why was it so important that Harvey told Mike he loved him, anyway? Did they not live in a day and age where actions spoke louder than words? Harvey did not understand his lover’s need to hear him say those words out loud, then again Harvey had never been the most expressive of people either. There was no reason for Mike to doubt his love for him. Harvey had asked him to move in, for Christ’s sake. What more did he want?

“You messed up, Harvey,” Donna told him point-blank as she took a swig of her wine. Harvey, meanwhile, had ordered the most expensive whiskey on the menu. He grimaced as he felt the liquid go down his throat and hit his stomach.

“How come it’s always me who messes up? What about Mike?”

“Mike is just as bad as you. Have you ever heard about communication?”

Harvey did not dignify Donna with a response, moodily sipping on his drink instead. Harvey did not do relationships. Whenever he got too close to someone, he usually shut them down and sabotage everything. With Mike, things had been different. That was also a sign that he cared about him a lot more than he did about his ex-partners. Why could Mike not understand that?

“You won’t find the fix to your problems at the bottom of a glass, Harvey,” Donna told him, which caused Harvey to slam his now empty tumbler onto the counter forcefully.

“Screw you, Donna. Alright, I’m not the emotional kind of guy, and Mike knew that the minute he and I started this relationship.”

“Do you love him?” The question took Harvey by surprise, and for a while he did not know what to say.

“What?”

“It’s a simple enough question. Do you love Mike Ross?” Donna repeated herself, staring straight into Harvey’s soul as she did so. He swallowed thickly as he motioned for the barwoman to refill his glass.

“I care about him deeply,” was all Harvey said in return. Donna raised a perfectly trimmed eyebrow at that reply. Harvey merely let out an irritated groan. “There’s no difference, Donna.”

“I beg to differ.”

“How is that different? Just because I don’t say that I love him doesn’t mean I don’t.”

Donna rolled her eyes at that statement. She downed the remaining of her wine before ordering something stronger, on Harvey’s tab of course. As she waited for her drink, she fidgeted on her stool so she was facing her boss properly. Harvey hated how easily her stares unnerved him. _Damn you, Donna_.

“Loving someone is different than caring about someone, Harvey. No matter how deeply you care. There’s different types of love. A parent’s love for their child, brotherly love, platonic love, romantic love. Harvey, _I_ care about you, too. Doesn’t mean I love you romantically.”

Harvey refused to look at Donna while she spoke, stubbornly holding onto the thought that caring deeply about someone and loving them was one and the same thing. However, for the sake of argument, he decided to indulge his friend.

“Well, if you’re such an expert, why don’t you enlighten me. What’s the difference?”

Donna thanked the barwoman when her drink was placed in front of her, and took a sip of her cocktail as she pondered her next words. Meanwhile, Harvey discreetly checked his phone again, hoping that Mike had texted him an apology. Or anything at all, really. Not hearing from him was killing Harvey. He was not used to being ignored.

“I could just give you the answer right here, but what would the fun be in that?”

“Donna, I don’t have time for these juvenile games,” Harvey admonished her, but the red-head merely winked at him.

“You’ve been used to getting everything handed to you on a silver platter, Harvey. I think it’s time you work for what your heart really desires. Thanks for the drinks. I’ll see you on Monday.”

Harvey did not try to stop her, but neither did he acknowledge her as she left. He checked his phone once again, and ignored the disappointment he felt when he did not see a message from Mike.

§§§

The next Monday, Harvey still had not heard from Mike. So naturally, seeing his lover enter his office that morning like nothing happened only fuelled Harvey’s anger towards Mike even more.

“You got anything to say to me?” he asked Mike, who merely glared at him.

“Like what? An apology, maybe? You’re lucky I showed up today,” Mike retorted.

“Lucky? You’re fucking lucky you have a job. If it weren’t for me, you’d still be–,“ Harvey caught himself on time, but Mike was not stupid. He instantly knew what Harvey had meant to say.

“I’d still be what? Selling drugs for my loser ex-boyfriend, and getting high every night with him? Yes, Harvey, you’re right. You’re the knight in shining armor, who helped the poor damsel in distress escape the dragon’s clutches. Well do you know what, at least Trevor wasn’t scared to tell me how he truly felt about me.”

“Here we go again,” Harvey sighed and rolled his eyes at Mike, “you sound like a broken record.”

“I’m fucking tempted to break one of your records right now,” the younger man retorted, but Harvey knew better than to rise to the provocation.

“I don’t know what you want from me, Mike!”

“Well, not to feel like I’m just another one of your one-night stands would be a great start.”

“You’re not like my one-night stands. In fact, you probably hold the record for the longest lasting partner so far. I could get that printed on a t-shirt if you want.” Harvey sassed him, easily slipping back into his old habits of hiding behind a wall of sarcasm rather than tell Mike how he truly felt about their relationship. This entire conversation was childish. Why would Harvey enable Mike by giving him exactly what he wanted?

“Wow. You’re a dick.”

Without another word, Mike left Harvey’s office. The older man was tempted to go after his lover, but something made him pause. Mike had spoken those last words with so much venom, as if he was truly disgusted by Harvey. How could he not be? Harvey mentally replayed the conversation in his head, and felt like kicking himself. He tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat, but his efforts were in vain. When clearing his throat and downing a whole glass of water did nothing to change his state, Harvey gave up. He heavily fell back into his chair, intent on getting back to work. His phone’s screen lit up next to him with a message from Donna.

_If yelling at him in an argument doesn’t make your throat burn like you just downed six shots, you’re not in love with him. _

Harvey flipped Donna the bird.

§§§

Mike did not bother coming into Harvey’s office on Tuesday morning, and the older man would be lying if he said that it did not hurt him a little. He knew for a fact Mike was in. He had seen him hanging about with Rachel Zane, and Louis. Harvey had tried hard not to feel jealous, but he had never been really good at sharing what was his. Even if Mike had not spoken to him since their argument on Monday, Harvey still considered him to be _his_ lover. Mike had not officially ended things with him, and until he did, Harvey would be there when Mike got back to his senses and decided to return to him.

_If_ he decided to return to him, that was.

It was a strangely peaceful day without his associate bursting into his office unannounced. Maybe the entire firm was avoiding him at the moment. Everyone always knew when Harvey was in a bad mood, and steered clear from him. The wisest choice, in Harvey’s opinion. It was only later that evening when he heard his office door swing open. Harvey looked up from his paperwork, and his eyes met Mike’s deep blue ones. Damn, he loved Mike’s eyes: always so expressive, always so full of adoration for him. Not this time. 

“Hey,” Mike greeted him shyly, even managing a shy smile. For a second, Harvey did not know what to say. He was too lost in Mike’s eyes.

“Hey…”

“I’ve got the briefs you asked for. I think they’re good, but it’d probably be best if you checked them.”

“Thanks,” was all Harvey managed to say. He wished for nothing more than to pull Mike close and bury his nose in the younger man’s hair. He had been so chummy with Rachel all day, and Harvey hated the thought of them two spending so much time together. She was kind, gentle and in touch with her emotions. She was probably a better fit for Mike, anyway. She could take care of his emotional needs better than Harvey could. The thought of Mike and Rachel made him want to put his fist through a wall.

“So, uhm. I just wanted to apologise for this morning and let you know that your records are safe. I don’t think I’d have the physical strength to break them, anyway.” Mike let out a nervous laugh at that last comment.

“Tell me about it.”

“I was apologising, you dick,” Mike complained, his pout making him look like a beaten puppy. _Harvey’s_ puppy.

“I know, I appreciate your apology. I was wrong, too. I shouldn’t have said those things to you.” Mike snorted at those words.

“You know, that’s probably the closest to an apology I’ll ever get from you. I’ll take it.”

Harvey did not respond. He did not have an answer for Mike, and suddenly he could not bear the thought of being in the same room as his lover. Noticing the conversation was not going anywhere, Mike shot Harvey a small smile before heading for the door.

“Goodnight, Harvey. See you tomorrow.”

When Mike left his office, it felt like the beginning of a truce. Harvey’s heart ached for more, but he was too proud to go after Mike. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket almost as soon as his lover was out of sight. It was another text from Donna.

_If his eyes can’t make you stop in your tracks and think about what you’re about to say next, you’re not in love with him._

Harvey looked up at that, noticing that Donna was still there and had probably witnessed everything. Harvey typed a text back.

_What the hell are you still doing here? Go home, Donna._

She ignored his text, but left anyway.

§§§

On Wednesday, Mike spent more time in Harvey’s office. Harvey was too proud to admit that he was relieved to see his lover wanting to spend time with him. Although Mike had not come back to his flat, Harvey knew better than to pressure him. One thing he loved about Mike was how independent he was. He could get by in this world without Harvey’s help, and the older man admired him for that.

“You haven’t touched the coffee I brought you,” Mike remarked casually. Harvey did not raise his eyes from the brief he was editing.

“My name’s on the cup, I don’t know how I feel about that.”

“That’s what Starbucks does, Harvey. They personalise their service by calling their customers by their first name. It’s a great marketing strategy. Stop being such a coffee snob.” Mike argued, finishing his own drink and throwing the empty cardboard cup into the trashcan at the other end of the office. “Hah! Michael Jackson’s got nothing on me, did you see that throw?”

“I did not, and by the way, you’re a better lawyer than you are a business strategist.”

“Be still my heart, did the great Harvey Specter just _compliment_ my work?” Mike’s intoxicating smile was hard to ignore, and Harvey had to force himself to look away. God, he never thought he would miss kissing those beautiful pink lips, but he did. All he wanted right now was to take Mike right there, on his desk.

“Don’t push it, puppy.”

The nickname came naturally to him, and the giddy grin it triggered in Mike made Harvey’s heart race in his chest. His lover’s bright blue eyes lit up with unrestrained glee at Harvey’s words. Mike was the purest human being on earth, and nothing or anyone would ever convince Harvey otherwise.

“You only ever call me puppy after we’ve had sex. It’s like, your post-coital ritual…”

“Post-coital ritual… big words for such a cute little puppy,” Harvey teased Mike, knowing how much his lover hated to be called ‘little’. _I’m literally only a few inches shorter than you_, he would always tell Harvey when their height difference was brought up.

“Doesn’t change the fact that you’ve just called me puppy _twice_ outside the context of sex.”

When Harvey did not react to Mike’s statement, the younger man got up from his couch and walked towards his lover’s desk. Mike then supported himself onto his two hands and leaned forward, which had Harvey looking up from his paperwork. Mike unexpectedly booped the tip of the other man’s nose. Harvey’s baffled expression was what cracked Mike up, and his happy laugh filled the office like the softest melody. Harvey could not suppress his own endeared smile.

“Mike?”

“Yes, Harvey?”

“Would you like to come over tonight?”

And like that, the mood was broken. Mike’s face fell, his expression growing serious as he moved away from Harvey’s desk and back to the luxurious couch. Harvey waited patiently for his lover to reply, noticing how fidgety Mike grew by the second.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea…,” came the dreaded answer, Mike’s voice barely louder than a whisper. “I’m sorry, Harvey. I haven’t forgotten our fight.”

In that instant, something in Harley broke. There was a possibility that Mike would never ever return to his flat. He might never hear the sound of Mike’s laughter ever again. Harvey balled the hand resting on his leg into a fist, his knuckles turning white as he clutched desperately onto the material of his pants. The other hand fiddled with his pen in a blasé manner, as if the thought that he might never sleep next to Mike ever again did not make him feel like his heart was being repeatedly stabbed with a blunt knife.

“Okay. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at our meeting.”

“Yeah,” Mike said, sounding disappointed. Although that may have been Harvey wishing his lover felt disappointed. He was having a hard time understanding Mike’s thought process where feelings were involved. “See you tomorrow, Harvey.”

Later that day, Donna left a handwritten note on his desk informing him of a meeting she had booked for the following week. To that note was attached a bright yellow post-it, which read: _If his laugh doesn’t make you tense up your knuckles thinking about never hearing it again, you’re not in love with him._

Harvey was growing very tired of Donna’s stupid game.

§§§

“Alright, this has been going on for far too long, Donna,” Harvey told his secretary one day as he cornered her in the break room, “I get it, I’ve taken Mike for granted all this fucking time. Just tell me what to do so he’ll speak to me again. I have no idea where we’re at, he’ll speak to me at the office, but won’t reply to my texts or return my calls. I _miss_ him, alright? Is that what you wanted me to say? I fucking miss him, there you have it. Now, tell me how to fix this.”

Donna merely stared at Harvey with a neutral expression as he spoke, allowing him to get to the end of his rant before finally putting her mug of coffee down and staring at him like a scolding mother would at her child.

“Tell me exactly what was said between the two of you that night, and maybe I’ll be able to help.”

Harvey remembered that fight all too well. It happened right after sex, while he and Mike were still basking in the afterglow of their climax. Mike loved cuddling, and he would usually assume the what Harvey had labelled ‘octopus position’: one arm across Harvey’s middle, their legs intertwined into a complex pattern, and Mike’s nose buried in the crook of his older lover’s neck. Harvey enjoyed the feeling of his lMike’s warm body pressed against his, and would usually wrap both his arms around Mike’s shoulders and pull him even closer to him. Only that time, before they both fell asleep, Mike had spoken those three words. _I love you._

Harvey had tensed up, and instead of just letting it slide and pretended like he had already fallen asleep, he had disentangled himself from Mike and gone to pour himself a drink. Thinking back on it, he understood why his lover had taken this reaction the wrong way. Harvey just had been at loss for what to say, and alcohol was notoriously known to lower his inhibitions. Mike had been pissed, but Harvey could not understand why at the time.

“He gave me an ultimatum, Donna. Either I was honest about my feelings for him, whether I returned them or not, or he’d leave my apartment. You know I hate being forced into anything, so I told him to leave…” Donna sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes for emphasis.

“You’re an idiot!”

“How was I suppose to know he’d take it the wrong way? Donna, he was the one who suggested leaving if I was not in the mood to talk!” Harvey argued angrily, but the red-head merely shook her head at him in a patronising way.

“No, Mike wanted to know whether you and he were on the same page. He wanted you to hold him back, Harvey. He was most likely hurt because you asked him to leave.”

“He looked pissed, not hurt. Trust me, I know the difference,” Harvey assured his friend.

“Do you? What, just because he didn’t cry meant he wasn’t hurt?” Harvey remained silent, which only served to make Donna feel justified in her claim. “Harvey, the boy idolises you. He worships the very ground you walk on, and everything you tell him he takes at heart. I was there yesterday. I saw the way his face radiated with joy after you called him puppy… _twice_. You have no idea how much you mean to him. And I’m starting to believe that maybe he doesn’t deserve someone like you as his boyfriend.”

Donna’s words hit Harvey hard. He would never show it to her, but he was now convinced that he had lost Mike forever. He could feel his heart break in his chest, and Harvey had to fight the ball of emotion constricting his throat. Without another word, he turned away from Donna and returned to his office.

Harvey desperately needed a drink.

§§§

Mike was woken up by the sound of someone knocking at his apartment door. At first, he was not sure whether he could hear the noise as part of a dream, or if someone was actually at his door at stupid o’clock in the morning. When the knocking only intensified, Mike pushed his covers aside and grabbed an unwashed pan from the kitchen counter before heading to the door. One could never be safe enough, especially this time of night. Mike peeped through the door viewer and instantly recognised the person behind it. With a loud sigh, he undid the locks and opened the door to reveal a more than dishevelled Harvey, who looked beyond irritated.

“’ve been knockin’ for ten minutes…,” his lover slurred, catching him on the door frame as he nearly fell forwards into Mike’s apartment. Had the younger of the two not been that shocked to see his boyfriend in such a state, he might even had found Harvey’s antics amusing.

“Are you drunk?” Mike asked, answering his own question when he caught a whiff of Harvey’s breath. It stank of expensive whiskey.

“Can we discuss this insi-de this j-joke you call an apartment?”

“Charming.” Mike was about to slam the door in Harvey’s face, but a strong and surprisingly steady hand held the door open despite Mike’s insistence. The look on Harvey’s face almost seemed apologetic.

“Mike, please. I’m beggin’ you, please…”

That right there was what made Mike stop dead in his tracks. Harvey was not only using the magic word ‘please’, but he was properly imploring his lover to let him in. He was worse off than Mike initially thought.

“Okay…”

Mike opened the door wider to allow Harvey to stumble inside the messy apartment. Hopefully he was drunk enough not to remember any of this in the morning. After locking the door behind them, Mike turned to face Harvey. The older man eyed him up and down, and only then did Mike realise that he was wearing his favourite Batman PJs Harvey had got him for his birthday. The print on the t-shirt read _You’re the Robin to my Batman._ Mike felt slightly embarrassed, but the soft smile that appeared on Harvey’s face took him by surprise.

“You–You’re still wearing my gift,” Harvey remarked, which made Mike snort.

“Yeah. I do. Guess I’m a little sentimental. Listen Harvey– “

“Please, don’t say it,” Harvey said, his eyes glistening uncharacteristically like he was about to cry. Mike did not know what to do, and he sure as hell had no idea how to handle a crying Harvey.

“Don’t say what?”

“That you’re leaving me.” Harvey took several unsteady steps towards Mike, and clumsily intertwined their fingers together. He brought both of Mike’s hands to his lips and placed loving kisses on the back of each one before meeting his lover’s eyes once again. “Please Mike, I can’t bear the thought of you leaving. You’re the best thing that happened to me in years, puppy.”

“Harvey, hey it’s okay…,” Mike tried to soothe his lover, but the other man merely squeezed his hands harder to the point where it was getting painful for Mike. He hid his grimace of discomfort for Harvey’s sake.

“It’s not okay, Mike. Your voice is the only thing that can calm me down when I’m upset, angry, or even mildly irritated. I could listen to your brilliant mind all day, every day. Your smile makes it hard for me to breathe, and your laugh makes me forget all my worries even for just a second. And seeing you here, wearing the gift I bought for you, even though you clearly want a break from me… it feels like a deep breath of fresh air, and a punch in the gut at the same time. _That’s_ how I feel about you, Mike. You’re the best and the worst in my life. You’re _my_ puppy whom I love more than anything. I risked my job for you, which implies that you mean more to me than my job. Is that enough for you? Is that what you wanted me to say? Because that’s all I have…”

By the end of Harvey’s speech, both men were in tears. Mike tried to bite back a sob, but failed miserably he spoke his lover’s name in a strangled whimper. He freed his hands from Harvey’s grasp and wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck, hugging him like his life depended on it. Harvey pulled him closer to his body as he buried his nose in Mike’s tousled hair.

“I love you so much, Harvey. I’m sorry for being such a child about everything, but I needed to hear you say this for so long. I thought you were only in this for the sex…,” Mike admitted, feeling Harvey pull away from the embrace. One of his large hands came to rest on Mike’s lower back while the other cupped his cheek. Then, Harvey slowly leaned in for a kiss, allowing his lover to deny him that right if he wished to do so. Thankfully, Mike crashed his lips onto Harvey’s, and the two kissed with a rekindled fire and passion.

“You mean so much more than that to me. Don’t you ever forget that, puppy.”

Thursday morning, Mike and Harvey both showed up late to the office. When Donna saw the two men step out of the elevator at the same time, winding each other up as they usually did, she knew that she had once again succeeded at nudging Harvey into the right direction. With a satisfied smirk plastered on her face, she opened a new email window and wrote her friend a congratulatory note.

_Harvey,_

_It seems like you worked things out with Mike. I’m so happy for you guys._

_Since I’m the reason that you guys are back together, I just wanted to remind you that my favourite flowers are purple and white orchids, or red roses from Madison Florist on 14th Street (you know the one). _

_Donna. _

**Author's Note:**

> Based on: https://hellopoetry.com/poem/1590230/your-not-in-love-with-her/


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